I do hate you...do i??
by air-boy
Summary: I am not good at summary, just read it. Sanna marred to Nazumi because Hayama didn't contact her for years. Why dun Hayama contact her anymore then...??Pls R/R
1. A Marriage

Hi, my name is Eva. This is the 1st Kodomo No Omocha fan fic I have; so pls give me some comment. By the way, I am a Chinese, so pls excuse my poor eng.~!!  
  
And the idea of this fan fic is come from a KNO Chinese fan fic, hope u all can enjoy it!!^__^ ( but it is going to be a tragic story)  
  
PLS R/R  
  
I do hate u...do I??  
  
Chapter 1 A Marriage  
  
(This story is set after Akito went to L.A for about 5-6 years)  
  
In a press conference,  
  
Reporter " Sana-chan, why do you decide to marry Nazumi-kun suddenly? How about your boyfriend Hayama Akito? Isn't he still your boyfriend now?"  
  
Sana nodded slightly "yes. I agree with you it's all of a sudden. Hayama and I have lost in touch for a very long time, I was so down these days. And suddenly Nazumi proposed to me, he said that he would give happiness to me. I know how much he loves me; I believe that he' s going to be a good husband. So I decided to marry him. I sure Hayama will understand me too.....Yes! I SURE~!!" a tear came from Sana's eye.  
  
Attentive Nazumi saw this; he kissed Sana's forehead in front of the camera " Pls believe in me, I love Sana till the day I die. I will give as much happiness to her as I can, I will make her become the happiest woman in the world!!"  
  
The end of the press conference........  
  
When Sana back home, she went to her bed and cried badly..  
  
Rei asked worriedly "Sesi, are you sure Sana wil be fine?"  
  
Sesi nodded " don't be worry, it's going to be fine. It is her decision., she will be fine. I rather worry about Hayama boy, I hope he hasn't heard about the news"  
  
At the same time, Fuka was watching the new, she cried too.... She cried for the poor Hayama guy.  
  
At the same time, in Sana's thought  
  
"Akito, you liar!! You said that you would be back very soon!! You said that we would still keep in touch even we are far away!! You promised me u would love me as always! Then, why don't you contact anymore?? Even I have contracted you so many times??4 years.....I haven't seen you or heard your voice for 4 years. I am a walking death these years.Do you know how hard I try to forget you?? Still I cannot.Every morning I wake up and cry, I miss you so much! Then I say to myself, maybe you are going to phone me today! And try to live on. You are the force of living on. I open the postbox every time with hope to receive your letter, but every time I will be back with disappointment.  
  
I love you so much, Akito. How can you hurt me like this?  
  
NO~!!!! I HATE U!! Hayama Akito.!! My lover is Nazumi, yes, I gonna marry him soon!~ AND I am going to forget you~!! As Nazumi said, I am going to be the happiest woman in the world!!"  
  
Sana tried to be strong again.but when she looked at the letter on the desk, she cried again. This is the last letter Akito written to her before they lost the contact that she reads every day.  
  
" Dear Sana.,  
  
How are you?? Still fine?? I am fine these days, so you need not to worry about me. Doing well in the show business?  
  
I won the 2nd runner -up of the competition which I mentioned to u before, isn't it nice??  
  
What are you doing now?? I got to go, I am quite busy these days.  
  
Best wishes, Akito  
  
P.S. make sure you can take care of yourself even I am not with you."  
  
That's the end of the letter, Sana sobbed, she read the last line of the letter once again  
  
"make sure you can take care of yourself even I am not with you."  
  
Is it means that Akito planed to leave her when he is writing this letter?? She thought sadly, she took out the 2nd last letter.  
  
"Love Sana,  
  
I miss you so much these days, what are you doing now?? Does everything go well?? I think of you all the time, how about you?  
  
I am going to have a competition next month, so I will be quite busy for practice. But we will still keep in touch as normal, okay???  
  
Sometimes I feel tired, but when I look at the dinosaur that you gave to me; I am cheered up again.............without you there would be no me.  
  
Ok. It's mid-night now. I got to sleep. I hope I can dream you in my dream. Love you as always.  
  
Kiss and love, Akito "  
  
Sana read them again, soon she found something has gone wrong.. The tone of the last letter is totally different from the previous letters. The tone is so formal, just like a friend's but not a lover's.  
  
Sana started to wonder " something must be gone wrong, gone terribly wrong between he wrote the last & the 2nd last letter" " what's going on..??"  
  
Next day,  
  
" Rei-kun. There is a businesses trip to USA invited by the company there, is it??" Sana asked  
  
"huh? Oooo., yes. But every time I mention about it, you just say that you don't want to go because it remind you of Hayama"  
  
Sana nodded her head " yes, but I wanna go now, as fast as I can. I want to find out something, I want to visit him. I want to ask him something"  
  
This is the end of part one, do u like it?? Please give me some comment to improve~!! And the next chapter will be about Hayama, why he didn't contact Sana anymore. I can just say that Sana was right, something had terribly gone wrong on Hayama. I think it will be finished very soon~!! 


	2. Nightmare

Pls R/R  
  
Chapter 2 Nightmare  
  
Hayama 's eyes started to fill with tears when he was seeing the news.  
  
Natsumi asked " Akito, are you okay?? You should understand, that's nothing wrong of Sana-chan for doing this~!"  
  
Hayama nodded slightly " yes, I know I cannot blame her. I understand. I just cannot tell her 'that'. I cannot stand seeing her cry 'coz of me, even if I die."  
  
Hayama started to think about the past. the happiest days in his life.  
  
Since Hayama had gone to L.A., Sana phoned him twice a week. They chatted on the phone for a very long time. They wrote letters to each other when they were free. Although they couldn't see each other, they believed that nothing could break them apart; their heart had already connected tightly. Yeah, they had wonderful days till that day.  
  
nightmare began to start.  
  
"hayama-kun, I don't understand this. Can you teach me??" " No, hayama teach me, don't teach her." "Not either of you, but me~! Hayama-kun, please explain algebra to me, I dun understand wt Professor Carter was talking about yesterday"  
  
It's a annoying morning as usual. Hayama was crowded by lots of gals in the collage. He used to this already. He was a star in school, every gal liked him, and even hayama fans club was set up. Mostly because of his good- looking face, cool character, have good results on every exam and. good at karate.  
  
"hayama!" a classmate talked to him  
  
".." Hayama didn't listen, he was thinking something. ' Just don't know why, I always have headache and feel dizzy recently. Anyway, it doesn't hurt much, just slightly painful. Just don't think about it. Ooo.. yes, I haven't contact Sana for a week, I do miss her. Let write letter to her tonight. What is she doing now?? Shooting?? I think'  
  
"Hey guy. You are having a karate competition next month, is it??" the classmate shouted to get hayama 's attention  
  
"huh?? Oh, yes~!! So I need practicing now" hayama used that excuse to escape from the group of girls  
  
"o.." hayama signed. "Thanks for that guy, now I can escape from that group of noisy gals and concentrate for the practice. Oh, by the way, Sana is a noisy girl too, hehe.." hayama smiled sweetly when he thought of his only lover in life, Sana Kurata.  
  
"so let's really start practicing" he muttered. He kicked his left leg high, he was much stronger than the time he was in Japan. Suddenly, a severe pain flow across his head. "Ops~~!!" It's really painful, even the strong boy Hayama could not stand, he kneeled on the floor for struggling. He couldn't move. " Ah!" he stayed there moaning. Luckily, after 10mins, the pain had gone away. " Shit!! What's going on?? It's just a light headache before.maybe because I haven't has enough rest recently?? fine then, let get sick leave, I can also practice karate more frequently"  
  
But deep down in Akito's heart, he knew it 's not so simple. Something had gone wrong. terribly.. He just kept telling himself " you are too oversensitive, it's nothing"  
  
That night, hayama at his home, writing letter to Sana.  
  
" What should I write this time, 1st the normal greeting ' Sana, I miss you so much.'"  
  
" Then tell her what happen recently, should I tell her I don't feel very well recently and I had a terrible headache this afternoon? Oh, no. it 's just such a tiny thing, she will serve it as a fatal diseases. That idiot~~!! Haha" He smiled again, the sincere smile that only smile for her "She had been so busy, I don't want to make her worry about me. So I dun think I will mention about this. How about the Karate competition?? Oh, yes, let's talk about this.and how about............................."  
  
"oh, it's midnight now. Wo.that's a long letter. I am so sleepy."  
  
The letter was finished. And that's the letter:  
  
"Love Sana,  
  
I miss you so much these days, what are you doing now?? Does everything go well?? I think of you all the time, how about you?  
  
I am going to have a competition next month, so I will be quite busy for practice. But we will still keep in touch as normal, okay???  
  
Sometimes I feel tired, but when I look at the dinosaur that you gave to me; I am cheered up again.............without you there would be no me.  
  
Ok. It's mid-night now. I got to sleep. I hope I can dream you in my dream. Love you as always.  
  
Kiss and love, Akito "  
  
(Author: remember this? That's the 2nd last letter Hayama mailed to Sana, which is mentioned in Chapter 1)  
  
3 weeks later,  
  
(hayama's POV)  
  
"The competition is coming. I am excited about it. However, my health condition was not very well these days. I feel dizzy and have headache more frequently than before. But it won't affect my performance so much, it just like bitten by insects only. I am Hayama Akito. It's easy for me to overcome this."  
  
Then he took out the letter Sana mailed to him  
  
"Love Akito, Halo~~Akito, I am very busy these days, but I still think of you anytime~~^.^ hehe, I miss you so much.  
  
Tell you something, last week, Rei-kun..hahaha~~isn't it funny??  
  
You should practice hard for your competition then. So you should write to me after the competition~~so when you finish the competition, remember writing to me!! Okay, just try your best!!  
  
I am very tired, got to go~!! Byebye  
  
Love you, Sana"  
  
After half a month,  
  
"Oh.Hayama-kun win again!! So next week will be the finals. The top 3 contend the champion~!! It's going to be taking breath~!! Watch out!" reported by a sports reporter  
  
(Hayama's POV)  
  
"oh.What's going on?? My headache has been become much more serious, and the pain never stop~!! I had a feeling that I will be collapse anytime. I don't think I can stand it any longer. At the start, it's just like bitten by insects, and I think I will recover very soon.but now, obviously not~!! It's getting serious, and the pain just like hit by a wood stick. Especially at night, it's so hurt that I cannot sleep, but kneel down and tremble."  
  
Day before the semi-finals  
  
It's morning. Natsumi had gone to school and father had gone to work. Left Hayama alone at home, as usual.of cause, they know nothing about Hayama's headache. He never told them, as he thought it would make no difference whether he told them or not.  
  
He was practicing Karate in his garden. He was still having the headache, but he had to work on, when he remembering the letter Sana written to him.  
  
Suddenly, the headache getting more painful-the most painful one that he had never experienced.it's like tearing his body into pieces. "ah.!!" He stopped practicing and laid down on the grass keep rolling.USELESS. "maybe I can get some medicine?? Such as panadol." but the problem was he was so painful that he could not even move, he remembered Sana suddenly " Akito, be strong~" " Yes, I must overcome this pain, I must."He tried to crawl to the kitchen.but he failed. he stupor at last.  
  
" Akito, Akito, wake up, heyhey, pls don't scared me" Hayama felt someone slapped him and woke up. It's his sister, Natsumi.  
  
"Oh~!! Akito, you know wt? You have scared me, when I back home I saw you laying on the floor, are you okay??" Natusmi asked worriedly  
  
"..." Hayama trying to remember wt's going on. " Oh, yes. I am fine, Natsumi. I am just so sleepy because I was practicing last night, without sleeping."  
  
"Is it so???" Natsumi asked suspiciously, but finally smiled " okay, so you better take more. You are having competition tomorrow"  
  
"fine" hayama answered simply  
  
Semi-finals.  
  
"o.Hayama-kun is in lead. It seems that the another guy is going to defeated very soon. Nice pinch, hayama- kun."  
  
Hayama thought " oh.. this guy is so weak. I can defeat him easily" Then hayama planed to kick a high-kick for getting him defeated. but then, his head got painful again, as painful as yesterday, suddenly his vision became black. and fell off..  
  
At the hospital,  
  
" Akito.."his father called him when he woke up.  
  
"....." Hayama remembering what had happened " What is this place???"  
  
"oh..you have finally woke up, come to my room, the whole family. I have got something to tell you" the doctor said  
  
At the room,  
  
" hayama-san, I was sorry to inform you this bad news" the doctor said  
  
" What?? Bad news?? I think I am just having a cold or something, is it?? Don't take so serious" Akito said, pretending nothing had happened.  
  
" During the body check, we discover a malignant tumor in your brain."  
  
"what????" Akito was shocked totally...  
  
"Cancer, put it simply. And it is already getting very large. I afraid it won't be recover. It's deadly disease."  
  
Silence......................  
  
After a very very long time, when Akito could speak, recognize it wasn't a joke or a dream or any other. He finally spoke " So how much time do I left??'  
  
" Due to your strong body, I think you are going to have 4-5 years left, but you will be suffering from pain these years"  
  
Akito didn't want to listen anymore " may I be excuse??"  
  
"sure you can"  
  
Now Akito dun know wt to do at all, his thought was just a mess. All he could think of is Sana. " what is Sana going to do when she know the news?? She must cry, cry badly. No, I cannot stand seeing her cry, especially cry for me,.. it's million painful than this diseases, My heart will just be like tearing into million pieces. And she will be suffering with me in these years. No~!!! I cannot let her know the news, NEVER. So I am not going to contact her anymore. I dun care she hate me as much as she hasn't heard about this news, as much as she won't see me suffering from cancer, as much as she won't see me getting weaker and weaker. She will be still be fine, she has her mum, Rei-kun, Fukka, lots of friends....and Naozumi. Yes, Naozumi love her so much, sure he can give happiness to Sana. I know I am selfish, but I just cannot stand Sana crying for me, I just can't see her being hurt."  
  
So Akito decided to write the last letter to her, wrote "make sure you can take care of yourself even I am not here with you"  
  
Back to now,  
  
(hayama's POV)  
  
After that, Sana mailed to back to me as usual. But I didn't read it, I don't want to be softhearted. And write the so-called last letter to her, and when she mail back, I write again. I tear it immediately, and throw it to the rubbish bin. I know if I just continue, both of us will be more hurt than now. So that's my decision. Years by, there are about tones of letters written by Sana, but I do the same to them. The feeling is so hurt, no one can understand. Every time tearing the letter is just like tearing my broken heart into countless pieces too. I can't help but I still cannot used to this, I just can not be numb to her when I can be to every things else around me.  
  
"so Akito, I hope you will understand Sana-chan of marrying to Naozumi-kun" Natsumi said  
  
"yes, I understand. I should be happy, should I?? I sure Naozumi can give happiness to Sana. Yes, isn't it nice?? Sana's happiness is just mine too..." I kept comfort myself but I couldn't, tears dropped down.  
  
god, pls bless Sana  
  
( End of POV)  
  
And Hayama never know Sana was going to visit him and found out all the things..  
  
End of chapter 2 


End file.
